I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
