1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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