She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
