If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
