just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
