sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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