she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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