I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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