I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
