He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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