Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
