You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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