So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
