She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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