You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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