Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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