Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
