Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
