What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
