There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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