I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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