mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
the night ended with taco bell and tears
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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