i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
