i need an iv and a liver transplant
you would pick up someone in the library
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
