I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
