you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
