We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
