It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
