I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I believe in your delicious
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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