I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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