when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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