Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
