Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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