The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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