WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
