YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
