you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
that's an acceptable place to lick
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
