just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
