he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
