So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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