whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
