Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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