so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
