hotel room ftw
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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