your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
