she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
you would pick up someone in the library
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
