dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
