brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I wish you could order shots online.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
