Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
