How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
