Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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