Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
